There has been much discussion about summer slide in recent weeks. Another trend is equally upon us. Please indulge me for a few minutes as we discuss the adult phenomenon “summer’s wild ride.”
Experts say that each summer, parents lose up to two months of sanity gained during the school year. In fact, one week of I am bored and Joey started it, can trigger a precipitous decline in well-being. In a recent study, one hundred parents were asked to scream their heads off for five minutes at 11:30 in the morning. While 90 parents were screaming so loud that it sounded like sirens going off, the other 10 started baying at the sun and demanding immediate chocolate. Oh, and there were ten extra study participants. These parents dropped out before 11:30, as these children would have been outliers. These children inexplicably defied the odds and played well all morning, without problem or complaint. Still, another original ten participants from the predetermined study size bolted at the word study. Apparently, they assumed their children were going to be asked to do the “s” word and thought their children’s non-compliance would skew the results. Freak out syndrome is one expert explanation given for parents’ sudden fear over anything sounding school related during the summer. This is not to be confused with common coreitis, which became rampant during the school term.
Left untreated, experts express worry about a growing zombie population among the adult population. Or maybe it was vampire syndrome. When children’s high energy meets parents’ low energy, the differential creates conditions ripe for blank stares and twitching eyes. Reportedly, whole neighborhoods on the Eastern seaboard have found similar conditions among parents, at 3pm on hot summer days. The problem is vast! Similar symptoms have been seen all around the country. In one extreme example, a large group of blank staring parents with twitching eyes, banded together and made a giant slip and slide to a local coffee shop. They are still camped out slurping iced cappuccinos and smoothies. In a written statement, Occupy Summer Sanity spokeswoman, Ida Kno, stated, “Parents will remain here until our children concede to returning our tablets. We want to peacefully resume Facebook without disruption.”
Experts recommend guarding against such conditions. They say it is imperative to have a mix of fun with some routine each day. Discussions have surfaced in leading periodicals about the importance of booting your children outside for hearty and healthy hours of play. Parents are encouraged to do summer at their own pace and not feel like they are their children’s’ personal entertainers. No, shockingly enough, they say children need to use their imaginations and come up with play for the day. They are wildly encouraged to pick up a book. Parents are being told to take a breath and enjoy each day. There is a slower, easier tempo available to any parent who looks for it and paces herself. We wait all year for this season. S avor it and stock up on the chocolate for the rough patches….