We all say it and feel it from time to time. We have become people who are “crazy busy” living in crazy times. Is it because we multitask; are media saturated; have our children in 200 activities; work two jobs; or just want to do a lot in too little time? Perhaps it is a mix of these factors or none of the above. The point is we’ve seemed to have reached a place where only being “crazy busy “is acceptable if we are to be deemed productive and successful. At what point do we rebel against this craziness and define for ourselves a more sane life? At what point must we/should we circle the wagons for our families and our homes?
A conversation I had with a dear friend; random exercises in stupidity; and a generalized feeling of being “crazy busy” have called me to do some self-examination. Like any house and family, there are things at stake and issues to be addressed with our children and the need for increased family time and time with another, as partners in marriage. Without purposefully delineating such time, it goes by the proverbial wayside for another day when things perhaps aren’t so “crazy busy.” Time and activities are a choice, fellow mama, parent, friend, and reader, I am to the point where I am trying a lot more carefully to say yes when demanded, no when needed, and be a compass for myself and our children, as opposed to a conduit for time slipping away to an empty sink hole.
For me, as goes my vehicle, so go I. When I have had flat tire and other car issues, it always seems like its busyness, thoughtlessness, and the mad rush to nowhere or somewhere ill-equipped that leaves me hung out to dry and literally broken down. I have had two flat tires in the past 10 years that were directly linked to preoccupation and rush, as opposed to being present to my circumstances. Running out of gasoline on a cold winters day last week was no exception. I “thought” I could make it to my destination with just enough time and gasoline. Stupid, stupid, stupid,! Rush, force, cram, obviously doesn‘t work. —-Forethought, planning, another story. –The less packed the day, the better.
Yet sometimes life seems to take on these qualities all by itself or perhaps because life is not singular, especially as a parent. Even though we “police” are children’s schedules and activities so they are not over committed and overbooked, the demands of life can still make it feel that way. When school events intersect with life events, crossed by a toddler with inordinate (okay wonderfully healthy, just abundant energy (insert your own circumstances) energy, a sense of well-being can get away. It can feel like an attack, although time is only really time and not a mortal enemy.
While this may be the case, we are still trying to take measures to be proactive and protective of our familial space. For us, this means emphasizing certain things and de emphasizing others. Yes to rest; quieter activities; and family time –nuclear and extended, over too much time for our children outside of our home and within events and places not entirely pertinent to our best functioning as a family. Our children do not need to “experience it all” by 12, at the expense of time to just be a daydreaming child. They continue to have wildly abundant opportunities, but will not be overscheduled and committed to any cause or activity, other than their own childhood and family. Our time does not look like something off Pintrest, but it hopefully looks like unadorned childhood, where they run through the yard; play both loudly and quietly in their rooms; find quiet places to read a book; and help out in our home and also find respite. I do not pretend to have all the answers or reasoning, but for us this helps; this strengthens; and this protects our wagons and home…..